In the wilds of Alaska there is a place called Akiak. I have this on good authority and Google Earth, as I have never been there mind you.
But apparently it is a small town at the confluence of the Kushokwin River, on the Kushokwin/ Yukon Delta.
Despite, or maybe because of being surrounded by a landscape of extreme grandeur and really wild majesty, Akiak has a problem.
It is being eroded by the power of those rivers raging through the countryside. It is being worn down, dis-located, torn to pieces.
Dramatic and elemental stuff. The residents fight a daily battle to stop their river destroying their community.
It's as if they have upset god and now they have to make amends.
I once planned to write a Love Story set in Akiak, Alaska.
Where two people who only knew each other from afar-opposite sides of the river-knew that they were in Love and yet were seperated by not only the raging torrent of the River, but also by the impossibility of Love itself.
They fight to bridge the gap between themselves and their mal-state. With nature and the River in particular, as the arch antagonist.
If you've ever seen a Michael Mann movie ('Thief', 'The Keep' 'Manhunter' and even later stuff), then you will know what I mean about 'the impossibility of love'.
Just like Akiak, this week I have managed to upset a couple of people who really deserve better, by not being able to give them what they wanted at this particular time, or by having given them the impression that things were different than they really were.
And just like Akiak, I find myself standing at the river of my emotions, wondering why there's so much flotsam floating by.
For the upset I can only apologise, profusely.
Sometimes we make things so bloody complicated.
Friday 30 March 2007
Tuesday 27 March 2007
Feeling Pretty Alkaline
They are on my beach now, yes they are.
Suddenly spring has sprung here in south-west Wales and instead of being windswept and buffeted it is blow-dried and manicured, but still on west-walian time.
I refer of course to the tourists, who god bless them, bring in the tourist pounds euros and dollars and keep this corner of god's green acre in underwear and latex mini-gloves.
I was almost shocked when coming along the sandy path that spills out through buckthorn trees onto the top of the beach, because there in front of my personage were people.
But not just any people mind you, say walking their dogs or throwing stones, or the dedicated runners who run for ultimate pleasure and solemnity, but holidaymakers!
Lots of them. Holidaymaking.
How dare they! I felt like the grumpy farmer shaking his angry fist and saying 'gerroffmoiland!'
This of course means that the tourist season has begun, the boarding houses and hotels are all being painted and the caravan parks are cutting their grass.
Soon people will flock to this beach and you won't be able to move for creamy bodies and mewling babbies. Ah well, good luck to them.
Suddenly spring has sprung here in south-west Wales and instead of being windswept and buffeted it is blow-dried and manicured, but still on west-walian time.
I refer of course to the tourists, who god bless them, bring in the tourist pounds euros and dollars and keep this corner of god's green acre in underwear and latex mini-gloves.
I was almost shocked when coming along the sandy path that spills out through buckthorn trees onto the top of the beach, because there in front of my personage were people.
But not just any people mind you, say walking their dogs or throwing stones, or the dedicated runners who run for ultimate pleasure and solemnity, but holidaymakers!
Lots of them. Holidaymaking.
How dare they! I felt like the grumpy farmer shaking his angry fist and saying 'gerroffmoiland!'
This of course means that the tourist season has begun, the boarding houses and hotels are all being painted and the caravan parks are cutting their grass.
Soon people will flock to this beach and you won't be able to move for creamy bodies and mewling babbies. Ah well, good luck to them.
Monday 26 March 2007
The Fool of Bute Park
After an excellent constructive and pleasurable weekend in Cardiff, Wales (the Capitol city of my Country), I return afresh.
Admittedly I spent a few bleary hours sat on a bench in Bute Park awaiting the coach, but hey at least the sun shined and people were Sunday happy. It all looked very civilised and it made me want to live in a city again (the time is well approaching).
Talking mostly to myself, I have just finished rewriting yet another of my Feature Film Scripts and by god Watson! I think I might be getting somewhere with this writing malarky.
I know that I can barely tie my shoelaces but writing scripts comes naturally to me and it has done since I started on this particular journey with some very tenuous steps back in some 12 years ago.
Admittedly for the first few years I wrote scripts in spurts of intensive activity one or two projects at a time. Now I write project to project and rarely take any time away from writing scripts, because I don't want to, as scriptwriting (despite the vaguaries of the business and the uncertainties of the activity itself) loves me like a puppy loves its doggiechocs.
And so, I continue onwards, a hero in my own underwear, remember me in your prayers.
Admittedly I spent a few bleary hours sat on a bench in Bute Park awaiting the coach, but hey at least the sun shined and people were Sunday happy. It all looked very civilised and it made me want to live in a city again (the time is well approaching).
Talking mostly to myself, I have just finished rewriting yet another of my Feature Film Scripts and by god Watson! I think I might be getting somewhere with this writing malarky.
I know that I can barely tie my shoelaces but writing scripts comes naturally to me and it has done since I started on this particular journey with some very tenuous steps back in some 12 years ago.
Admittedly for the first few years I wrote scripts in spurts of intensive activity one or two projects at a time. Now I write project to project and rarely take any time away from writing scripts, because I don't want to, as scriptwriting (despite the vaguaries of the business and the uncertainties of the activity itself) loves me like a puppy loves its doggiechocs.
And so, I continue onwards, a hero in my own underwear, remember me in your prayers.
Monday 19 March 2007
Notes on How to Be Free part 1
You’ll often hear it said amongst people you talk to that you or they are ‘lucky’ to have a job.
Only someone with a Slave or Serf mentality thinks that they are ‘lucky’ to have a job. Instead of thinking like a Serf or Slave, think like an entrepreneur.
A job is not a gift from god (although life is), or some magical prophecy, it is you trading your time for money, it is a transaction like any other.
Most people don't like the job that they are in, or they have certainly done many jobs that they 'hated' and surely all of us have worked at one time or another, for an arsehole.
You are the CEO of You. Inc, therefore you need to maximize your profits, you need to bring in as much money per hour for your time as is possible.
How do you do this? By adding value to your worth.
How does someone add value to their worth to an employer or client?
Take the example of a Labourer on a Construction Project or Building site.
Most Labourer’s are badly paid, do heavy physical work that can destroy the body over time and are seen as being something that is easily replaced.
Of course this is a shortsighted attitude on behalf of the employer, but nonetheless it is true.
So how does the lowly Labourer add value to their worth?
They add value by gaining more skills and being a fantastic all-rounder, by being able to do concrete’ing, kango’ing, floor sawing etc, they can add industry approved qualifications and first aid certificates etc. All this will add potential negotiating points.
In general, they get much better at what they do and make sure that what they do is appreciated for being a valuable asset to the company they are working for.
They make sure that the potential employer knows that they are skilled in many things and would be a very useful asset and so, the employer thinks ‘we’ll we’ll have him, what can we offer?’
By increasing their value to an employer or client, they raise their monetary worth, but also force the employer or client to start thinking about what extra incentives they can offer the employee in order to attract or keep hold of him or her.
The same mentality is applicable to all employees and their negotiations in terms of salary etc.
Think about what you can do today to add value to your worth as an employee.
If you are a Copywriter, how can you add value to your worth? What can you do to improve not only your skill as a Copywriter, but also your Marketability?
How then can you exploit that and publicize the fact so that you’ve got people coming to you to get your services?
This is the essence of increasing success, making yourself more valuable than the norm within your chosen profession or the one you find yourself in, in order to bring yourself more opportunities.
Alternatively if you hate it that much and you feel so undervalued, you can just leave and do something far more interesting instead.
Love and Kisses.
Only someone with a Slave or Serf mentality thinks that they are ‘lucky’ to have a job. Instead of thinking like a Serf or Slave, think like an entrepreneur.
A job is not a gift from god (although life is), or some magical prophecy, it is you trading your time for money, it is a transaction like any other.
Most people don't like the job that they are in, or they have certainly done many jobs that they 'hated' and surely all of us have worked at one time or another, for an arsehole.
You are the CEO of You. Inc, therefore you need to maximize your profits, you need to bring in as much money per hour for your time as is possible.
How do you do this? By adding value to your worth.
How does someone add value to their worth to an employer or client?
Take the example of a Labourer on a Construction Project or Building site.
Most Labourer’s are badly paid, do heavy physical work that can destroy the body over time and are seen as being something that is easily replaced.
Of course this is a shortsighted attitude on behalf of the employer, but nonetheless it is true.
So how does the lowly Labourer add value to their worth?
They add value by gaining more skills and being a fantastic all-rounder, by being able to do concrete’ing, kango’ing, floor sawing etc, they can add industry approved qualifications and first aid certificates etc. All this will add potential negotiating points.
In general, they get much better at what they do and make sure that what they do is appreciated for being a valuable asset to the company they are working for.
They make sure that the potential employer knows that they are skilled in many things and would be a very useful asset and so, the employer thinks ‘we’ll we’ll have him, what can we offer?’
By increasing their value to an employer or client, they raise their monetary worth, but also force the employer or client to start thinking about what extra incentives they can offer the employee in order to attract or keep hold of him or her.
The same mentality is applicable to all employees and their negotiations in terms of salary etc.
Think about what you can do today to add value to your worth as an employee.
If you are a Copywriter, how can you add value to your worth? What can you do to improve not only your skill as a Copywriter, but also your Marketability?
How then can you exploit that and publicize the fact so that you’ve got people coming to you to get your services?
This is the essence of increasing success, making yourself more valuable than the norm within your chosen profession or the one you find yourself in, in order to bring yourself more opportunities.
Alternatively if you hate it that much and you feel so undervalued, you can just leave and do something far more interesting instead.
Love and Kisses.
Wednesday 14 March 2007
Killer Toasters and the Milk Cartons of Death
Apparently we are all doomed, and not for the first time, Whitey.
As the TV News gleefully shows us images of stupidity and devastation that we are encouraged to 'emote now' to.
It's saccharine demi-tas moral message of 'best not leave the house in case anything bad happens' becomes a self-perpetuating prophecy.
As you skulk about in paranoid distemper hiding from killer toasters and the milk cartons of death.
Never has there been a more destructive negative self-masturbatory system in place, than the 'de facto voice of authorititive coverage of world events'.
Good Evening and welcome to 'Turn Your Power Down and Mindlessly Consume'.
So the big news this week was again Global Warming.
But not just any Global Warming, no, we are talking about ultimate doom Global Warming mind you.
No this is Special. The sort of Global Warming you get when you turn that three bar electric fire up to 'just about warm your nads' level and a village in Uzbekistan disappears under a mud slide because you put too much money in the meter you selfish toad.
Really?
As the TV News gleefully shows us images of stupidity and devastation that we are encouraged to 'emote now' to.
It's saccharine demi-tas moral message of 'best not leave the house in case anything bad happens' becomes a self-perpetuating prophecy.
As you skulk about in paranoid distemper hiding from killer toasters and the milk cartons of death.
Never has there been a more destructive negative self-masturbatory system in place, than the 'de facto voice of authorititive coverage of world events'.
Good Evening and welcome to 'Turn Your Power Down and Mindlessly Consume'.
So the big news this week was again Global Warming.
But not just any Global Warming, no, we are talking about ultimate doom Global Warming mind you.
No this is Special. The sort of Global Warming you get when you turn that three bar electric fire up to 'just about warm your nads' level and a village in Uzbekistan disappears under a mud slide because you put too much money in the meter you selfish toad.
Really?
Thursday 8 March 2007
I'm Like a Turd (I'm Just Passing Through)
As a rule I like GPMG's (General Purpose Machine Guns).
Although I can do without the experience of having one fired in my general direction, they are a really fun way of cutting a house in half (about a thousand rounds will do it), they're heavy at about 30 pounds in weight, long and awkward to run with and the bandoliers of bullets weigh a ton too.
When I was a daft teen I did a lot of running around and firing of GPMG's. I fired them at stationery targets, I fired them at moving targets, I fired them at tanks and armoured vehicles.
It didn't make me a better person, but it was a lot of fun for a while, until getting knocked to the floor with rifle butts to the back of my head by over-eager corporals became too much like normality.
Today I watched a bunch of soldiers playing cowboys and indians on the headland, popping off blanks at each other from thirty five yards. A good metaphwoar in itself but not the point to this meamble.
Seems to me that most folks can't make decisions (difficult I know when multiple dillemmas are in play) and so they pop off blanks at random targets hoping that something will stick, hide behind lumps of rocks and then make a run for it across a piece of open ground whilst spraying bullets all over the place.
Sometimes this blog is about making decisions, sometimes it's about knob gags, peak oil, scriptwriting etc and sometimes it's actually about finding a wife.
Today it's about running out into the garden naked apart from a curly red wig and jumping up and down on a trampoline shouting 'Vive le Guerre'.
Although I can do without the experience of having one fired in my general direction, they are a really fun way of cutting a house in half (about a thousand rounds will do it), they're heavy at about 30 pounds in weight, long and awkward to run with and the bandoliers of bullets weigh a ton too.
When I was a daft teen I did a lot of running around and firing of GPMG's. I fired them at stationery targets, I fired them at moving targets, I fired them at tanks and armoured vehicles.
It didn't make me a better person, but it was a lot of fun for a while, until getting knocked to the floor with rifle butts to the back of my head by over-eager corporals became too much like normality.
Today I watched a bunch of soldiers playing cowboys and indians on the headland, popping off blanks at each other from thirty five yards. A good metaphwoar in itself but not the point to this meamble.
Seems to me that most folks can't make decisions (difficult I know when multiple dillemmas are in play) and so they pop off blanks at random targets hoping that something will stick, hide behind lumps of rocks and then make a run for it across a piece of open ground whilst spraying bullets all over the place.
Sometimes this blog is about making decisions, sometimes it's about knob gags, peak oil, scriptwriting etc and sometimes it's actually about finding a wife.
Today it's about running out into the garden naked apart from a curly red wig and jumping up and down on a trampoline shouting 'Vive le Guerre'.
Sunday 4 March 2007
Pressure, Resistance
Have you noticed how when you are getting closer to achieving a specific goal, you feel more Resistance?
Like when you put a mobile phone too close to your speaker system. The closer the phone, the more noise, interference and squelch.
This Resistance can be used as a guiding sign of the fact that what you are about to achieve, is very important to your true purpose.
The more resistance, the more noise inside your head, the more that little voice of sabotage and doubt tries to get in on the action.
When you are writing for example, a Feature Film Screenplay, you feel this resistance very strongly and in the most unlikely ways.
Regardless of how you actually approach writing scripts, and the methods are as varied as are the writers, your overiding goal is to complete The Script and end up with approximately 90-120 pages of properly formatted A4 paper in 12 point courier.
As well as all the correct typing, you would more importantly appreciate having the initial basis for a a good story well told, that you can go back to at sometime in the future and rewrite into a much better script.
As everybody's first draft is usually godawful, with the occassional glimmer of excellence in amongst the pigswill, then it's almost obvious that at some stage of the creative process you will find one of your inner voices (the Dr. Evil one), trying to communicate with you.
Firstly when you've written X amount of pages, that voice of doom will tell you that 'there's no point continuing with it, because it's rubbish anyway and you should give up. No-one's going to want to read it/ make it etc'.
This is the tosspot that tells you to 'be realistic' (as reality is often very boring, I suggest you tell it to 'fuck off and shut up').
Then later in the process that same voice, clever little bugger that it is, will say 'Ah it's not bad, but it's not good enough and therefore you should abandon it now and do something else'.
The perfectionist voice is a horrible little turd floating on the vat of your creative juice.
Unfortunately it's also very clever and can keep manifesting itself in various formats over and over again.
It has a more subtle version of itself such as 'It's pretty good in places, but stop now and put it to one side and then have a go in a bit'.
That last one is a combination of Procrastination and Perfectionism and is a real bastard to kick, because it seems so plausible.
After all, the script isn't good enough (at this point) and if you allow yourself to be convinced that it will never be good enough, then you will quit before you've finished the script (avoid 'all or nothing' thinking like 'never' and 'I always' etc).
Even better is that one day you'll think what you're writing is absolutely brilliant and the next that what you are writing is absolute shite. And you will be wrong in both cases.
Regardless of these swings doors marked 'in and out of depair', I've completed Ten Feature Film Scripts now and there wasn't a day of writing where I didn't experience these very same emotions, inner statements and snakepits.
But regardless, I have kept going, I have completed each script and endless rewrites of these scripts and I march on, because all forms of writing make me happy.
My point to you is that if I can do it, then so can you in whatever it is that you want to achieve. You might not be interested in writing Feature Film Scripts, Copywriting, How To Ebooks etc but you might want to climb ever mountain over three thousand feet in the British Isles or eat at every Little Chef restaurant on the A1 duel carriagway.
Whatever your goal is please remember that it is 'Difficult, but not impossible'.
Like when you put a mobile phone too close to your speaker system. The closer the phone, the more noise, interference and squelch.
This Resistance can be used as a guiding sign of the fact that what you are about to achieve, is very important to your true purpose.
The more resistance, the more noise inside your head, the more that little voice of sabotage and doubt tries to get in on the action.
When you are writing for example, a Feature Film Screenplay, you feel this resistance very strongly and in the most unlikely ways.
Regardless of how you actually approach writing scripts, and the methods are as varied as are the writers, your overiding goal is to complete The Script and end up with approximately 90-120 pages of properly formatted A4 paper in 12 point courier.
As well as all the correct typing, you would more importantly appreciate having the initial basis for a a good story well told, that you can go back to at sometime in the future and rewrite into a much better script.
As everybody's first draft is usually godawful, with the occassional glimmer of excellence in amongst the pigswill, then it's almost obvious that at some stage of the creative process you will find one of your inner voices (the Dr. Evil one), trying to communicate with you.
Firstly when you've written X amount of pages, that voice of doom will tell you that 'there's no point continuing with it, because it's rubbish anyway and you should give up. No-one's going to want to read it/ make it etc'.
This is the tosspot that tells you to 'be realistic' (as reality is often very boring, I suggest you tell it to 'fuck off and shut up').
Then later in the process that same voice, clever little bugger that it is, will say 'Ah it's not bad, but it's not good enough and therefore you should abandon it now and do something else'.
The perfectionist voice is a horrible little turd floating on the vat of your creative juice.
Unfortunately it's also very clever and can keep manifesting itself in various formats over and over again.
It has a more subtle version of itself such as 'It's pretty good in places, but stop now and put it to one side and then have a go in a bit'.
That last one is a combination of Procrastination and Perfectionism and is a real bastard to kick, because it seems so plausible.
After all, the script isn't good enough (at this point) and if you allow yourself to be convinced that it will never be good enough, then you will quit before you've finished the script (avoid 'all or nothing' thinking like 'never' and 'I always' etc).
Even better is that one day you'll think what you're writing is absolutely brilliant and the next that what you are writing is absolute shite. And you will be wrong in both cases.
Regardless of these swings doors marked 'in and out of depair', I've completed Ten Feature Film Scripts now and there wasn't a day of writing where I didn't experience these very same emotions, inner statements and snakepits.
But regardless, I have kept going, I have completed each script and endless rewrites of these scripts and I march on, because all forms of writing make me happy.
My point to you is that if I can do it, then so can you in whatever it is that you want to achieve. You might not be interested in writing Feature Film Scripts, Copywriting, How To Ebooks etc but you might want to climb ever mountain over three thousand feet in the British Isles or eat at every Little Chef restaurant on the A1 duel carriagway.
Whatever your goal is please remember that it is 'Difficult, but not impossible'.
Thursday 1 March 2007
Rewriting the Rewrite
Scriptwriting is life in Slow-Motion. It's 'the long way round'.
(this is my current favourite title for my Autobiography, although 'Couldn't even get a Job writing Porno Movies' is still a front runner).
It takes a long time to learn your craft, then get better and better at it, perfecting it, well you never perfect it, but you get the idea. I aspire to be as good a scriptwriter as William Goldman ('Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid' etc).
In short Scriptwriting is heroism-lite.
Over these last few weeks I have completed, re-edited, re-completed etc Two Ebooks (which now have artwork courtesy of a friend and will be ready to sell hothothot in a couple of weeks-you heard it here first, don't all rush at once).
I've also written Two NEW Treatments for Two NEW Feature Films. This week I have been a hero-lite and it excites me to really immerse myself in scriptwriting.
It makes me happy, because in the process of finding out there is a selfish brilliance that loses you in the moment of doing.
You get lost in it. That's special. How many things can you say that you truly lose yourself in and lose all track of time?
If you have such a thing, then that is a part of your true souls purpose, seek that which maketh you happy and you find what you are looking for, or something like that.
(this is my current favourite title for my Autobiography, although 'Couldn't even get a Job writing Porno Movies' is still a front runner).
It takes a long time to learn your craft, then get better and better at it, perfecting it, well you never perfect it, but you get the idea. I aspire to be as good a scriptwriter as William Goldman ('Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid' etc).
In short Scriptwriting is heroism-lite.
Over these last few weeks I have completed, re-edited, re-completed etc Two Ebooks (which now have artwork courtesy of a friend and will be ready to sell hothothot in a couple of weeks-you heard it here first, don't all rush at once).
I've also written Two NEW Treatments for Two NEW Feature Films. This week I have been a hero-lite and it excites me to really immerse myself in scriptwriting.
It makes me happy, because in the process of finding out there is a selfish brilliance that loses you in the moment of doing.
You get lost in it. That's special. How many things can you say that you truly lose yourself in and lose all track of time?
If you have such a thing, then that is a part of your true souls purpose, seek that which maketh you happy and you find what you are looking for, or something like that.
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